Monday, 18 May 2009

Putty Cats & Photoshop

My modem is playing up :(

According to the help line guy, there's a lot of noise on my line (whatever the heck that is!). The next free day for me is Thursday afternoon, so until then I keep loosing then finding connection, only to loose it again. Very frustrating....specially when mid-chat on MSN!


Anyway, while my connection was down earlier I had a play with photoshop. It's been AGES since I did any photoshop. I got bored of altering photos of myself so stopped. Maybe I'll catch a few pictures of my fella or take some land/townscapes & play with them.


"Smile."

For T. This is what happens when you make a soppy romantic fall head over heels in love!!! So I'm blaiming him :P

"A Fairytale Dream."


I think it's interesting how two very different feeling images can come from two photos taken at the same time.....


I also had a visitor again last night....

He made himself right at home, & went to sleep on my lap! Ain't he cute! You have to giggle at the cheekiness of ginger tom cats! ^___^
However he may be cute , but he'll never be as handsome as my Ginge!! But maybe I'm being biased!

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Big D & The Surprise Visit.

Had a bit of a turn over the weekend.....I got really depressed...the first time in MONTHS!
Of course it had to happen while going to a party, didn't it! The big D has such fantastic timing!

I started feeling a bit off on Friday, but ignored it as much as possible, hoping it would pass, but by the time I got to the party on Saturday I was feeling lousy.

So insecure, so self conscious, so hyper sensitive, so worthless.....so shit

It was the first time my fella has seen me that low & I was really worried how he would react. Previous boyfriends got frustrated & angry, which would just make me feel worse!
But he was lovely......gave me a big hug, told me I was being silly (in a nice way) & that he loved me.... :)
Exactly what I need when I feel like that.

Apparently a few people have asked after me because of the way I was at the party (ie VERY quiet. I'm not the best at socializing at the best of times - particularly with females for some reason, so being even more quiet makes it nigh on impossible for me to be sociable).....sweet of them to worry but really there's no need for them to. I feel a bit guilty now, for concerning them.
I feel really embarrassed now......I always do after a depressive episode. I know I shouldn't because I can't help getting like that, I have no control, but jeez......*CRINGE!*
I feel like giving myself such a slap for being so stupid!
Oh well.....

I'm seeing my shrink next week & we had been talking about me coming off my medication & being discharged from psychiatric out patients (after 8 years. I've been on meds on & off for 14 yrs) & I think I'm just worrying about that.
Needlessly of course, but that's me. I worry about worrying & then about you worrying about me worrying & so on!!!!!!

I was told a couple of years ago that I would always have to remain on medication & that my Depression was going to get worse, so to actually do the opposite of what that psychiatrist said is a MAYOR deal to me. A big two fingers to the folk who patronizingly look down on me as the little mentally ill girl who will not be able able to achieve anything because of her "disorder"
God I would LOVE to prove them wrong!!!!!! Shove it right in their faces!!!!!

My menstrual cycle has also been a bit chaotic this month, so that has probably not helped either.....darn hormones!

But the main thing is I'm feeling MUCH better now & (as my Mum reminded me when I rang her to get my thoughts straightened - she's brilliant at helping me sort my thoughts out) I'm MUCH better than I used to be. I may of got low, but I didn't become hysterical which I used to do. There was nothing broken, no self harming, no screaming etc etc.

I'm doing OK.........Depression hasn't got me yet......I'm too stubborn to let that happen!


& proud of it too!

Monday, 4 May 2009

Collographs

We made collographs at uni last Wednesday. I've never tried it before, but I really like the effect. Plus it was pretty messy & messy is always good!

First you need a firm base & then stick away.....I used masking tape, lace, fabric, pva glue etc


You then cover the whole piece with diluted pva glue & then a clear varnish.

Then the messy bit!

It needs to be completely covered in ink, (if you miss just the slightest bit the space will show as white on the actual print, so not good.).& then wiped off. It sounds pointless I know but you want a the ink to be in the spaces only. Some others at uni did some beautiful work but missed some space & so their prints were a disappointment.

Think of a potato print reversed. Instead of the surface holding the ink, you want the indent, the background, ink covered.


Once everything is dry you place it face down on a damp (so it doesn't rip & molds over the surface easier) piece of think paper & then put it through the press.
The press at uni is similar to a mangle, but keeps the paper flat, kinda like a printer....

The result is this!

I love the outcome, but feel the lace had too much ink, so I repressed it....


The lace is much better in this one, but I prefer the first print.

This is the stamp (can't remember what you call it) after it was pressed. It's quite pretty in its own right!


Plus I came up with a cunning plan.....my Mum has always suggested using my crochet in my paintings & while doing the prints I thought why couldn't I use my crochet it self as a stamp???

So over the past few days I've been hooking away, so watch this space!