Fallen Angels & Hidden Demons

Free Ebook!

2012-01-21T21:13:00.000Z

I was over at Hedgewitch Hollow & she posted about this little gem over at Amazon.

Horns of Power: Manifestations of the Horned God

Product Description
The raw, ancient and primordial force symbolised by horns has long had associations with mystery, magick and power. Our ancestors often envisaged their gods as anthropomorphic beings who encapsulated this wild essence. Today the gods of the bull, the ram, the goat and the stag still hold tremendous power and are invoked at rituals by a new priesthood who continue to seek the wildness of nature and the inspiration that it holds. These deities transcend the safe and known boundaries of human structure, sometimes even luring us across the threshold of the known into the unknown worlds beyond.

This unique anthology brings together the work of more than twenty people, including that of dedicated scholars and modern day mystics. Through their written and artistic contributions they illustrate some of the many manifestations of the Horned God. A true cornucopia of both insightful and well researched essays takes us from the well known Celtic Cernunnos and the legend of Herne the Hunter, to the goat-footed Greek Pan, the lesser known Slavic Veles and Egyptian Khnum. Horned serpents, unicorns, the tale of the Battle of the Bulls in the Irish Táin Bó Cúailnge, the Welsh Gwyn Ap Nudd and the faery Puck are all also considered.

Then a wild hunt as we journey with the mystics who share their own experiences of the gods of the wildwood and untamed beasts. Each story is as different as the person who experienced it – and each illustrating in its own unique way a Horned God who is wild, unpredictable, loving – and at heart a trickster. For those who wish to dare a bit more than others, visionary meditation journeys to explore the mysteries of Cernunnos and Gwyn Ap Nudd are included. Horns of power would of course be nothing without the horns of beauty of the feminine divine, and in the final section of this anthology the reader is presented with works exploring horned goddesses, such as the lunar horned Hekate, Selene and Artemis and the antlered Elen.

Whether through the mysteries of their existence, the vast scope of their influence or the endurance of their survival through to the modern day, each contribution provides a window into the wonders and mystery of the enduring magick of the horned gods.

Contents
The Witch God Cernunnos by Sorita d’Este
Herne: The Royal Hunter by Hortus St Michael
Hero Lord of Annwfn by Gareth Gerrard
Pan: The Hidden All by David Rankine
Veles in Slavic Myth by Kim Huggens
Romano-Celtic Horns by Zachary Yardley
The Horned Serpent by Frater Nechesh
Battle of the Bulls by Dafydd ap Bran
Puck: Forgotten Devil God? by Beth Raven
The Potter from the Nile by Sorita d’Este
Horns from Egypt by Phil Lightwood-Jones
Horn of the Unicorn by Janet Nancy James
Stag & Unicorn
Horn at Dawn by Rhys Chisnall
The Song of Amergin
Light in the Earth by John Canard
The Horned One Rises by Peter J. Jaynes
My Bearded Man by Thea Faye
A Small Mouse by Magin
Encounters in the Woods by Harry Barron
A Quest for Horns by Stephen Blake
Dancing with Bulls by Zagreus
Meditation Journey with Gwynn ap Nudd by Gareth Gerrard
Hymn to Amen-Ra
Journey to the Mound by Gulia Laini
The Fire Horns by Lupus
Luna’s Shining Horns by Gulia Laini
Triple Horns of the Greek Magical Papyri by Sorita d’Este
Ode to the Horned Goddess by Nina Falaise
In Pursuit of Elen by Jenny Sumaya

I'm so happy to come across this. It's one of my little pet hates about the Pagan community....the neglect of the masculine. I presume it's due to a knee jerk kind of reaction from Christianity & their male God. Personally I don't understand it. I will never fully understand those that worship the Goddess alone, but that's just me. I feel so much more balanced having both a male & female aspect to my faith. Focusing on just one just doesn't sit right with me. Each to their own.
Anyway, I'm off for a read! :)

Burning Incense Is Psychoactive: New Class Of Antidepressants Might Be Right Under Our Noses

2012-01-13T01:03:00.000Z

This came up on my Facebook news feed from Science Daily & I had to share it!

CLICK HERE

A Message To Christian Extremists

2012-01-13T00:50:00.000Z

I received yet another "Jesus is the only true way" sort of comments on one of my posts.....anyway I thought I'd post my answer so that if any other Christian extremist (& at the end of the day, that is what they are) would hopefully read it before they start lecturering me on my spirituality.

**********

You know I actively work against Christian bashing within society where I can. If you actually read my blog & not just this one post, you'd know that.
If I hear anyone start on about Christianity & jump in to Christianity's defense. I vocally back their right to wear crosses & to not feel in fear when stating their faith to others.....however people like you make that difficult.

I do NOT force my beliefs (& NEVER will) on to anyone. I have NEVER stated that the path I walk is the one true path & that everyone else is wrong.

At the end of the day, you & I are seeking the same goal, a closeness, a connection with the divine, that Higher Power. It is just that we are travelling to that same destination, but from different origins so of course our journeys are going to differ.
That's what makes the human race so amazing....the differences!

Have you ever taken a Paracetamol? Then you have used herbalism (it comes from Willow Bark). Many plasters that you buy over the counter contains silver, as silver kills bacteria. Copper & magnet bracelets are used for travel sickness & arthritis.
The use of natural resources is part of our daily life. Some of it can be repeated under scientific conditions & is then called science &/or medicine. That is what medicine is. Something that can be repeated under scientific conditions with the same outcome. Alternative medicine (reflexology, herbalism, aromatherapy, crystals, etc etc) is medicine that can not be repeated with the same effects under scientific conditions. That doesn't mean it doesn't work, it just can't be proven....once upon a time we believed that PMS was down to the womb literally moving around the body!

Now if these things can help on the physical body, why can they not help with the spiritual? Why wouldn't God give us the ability to defend ourselves against any negative or evil forces. Maybe he/she/it would prefer it if we took responsibility & looked after ourselves instead of calling him/her/it/them every time things screw up or got difficult?
Don't you think that's a possibility?

I know your Faith entails spreading the word of God, but PLEASE show some respect to those of us that are showing respect towards yours.
If I am wrong in MY spiritual beliefs, then on judgement day I will be the first to hold my hands up, say I was wrong & accept the consequences.
However I feel that I am not wrong & therefore will continue living my life & walking the path that I do. This is how I feel closer & connect with that Higher Power. You have your way & I have mine & I will never stand in your way of your path.
I respect & care for you too much as a fellow human being, to hinder your connection with God. It is not my place to tell you, how YOU should speak to God. It's also not your place to do so either.

It is VERY clear that this is a Pagan blog, PLEASE if you do not agree with Paganism etc DON'T READ IT, click on to the next page.
I don't go round Christian blogs trolling the comments.
Life is complicated enough without negativity from strangers.
This world is beautiful,amazing & big enough for us ALL to live side by side, regardless of faith systems (or lack of in some cases).

It would be too easy to get on my high horse & start ripping you down, but that's not me. All I ask is that you stop hating & jumping to conclusions about Paganism. Educate yourself on the Pagan path (& no I don't mean become Pagan, just get an understanding of it) & spread some love instead.

Be healthy, be loved & be happy

I Support the Spartacus Report

2012-01-09T21:02:00.000Z

http://diaryofabenefitscrounger.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-support-spartacus-report.html

Please, please, please, please, please, go over & have a read & sign the petition.

What the government doing is immoral & unethical. They are focusing on a already vulnerable group of people, instead of turning their eyes towards the large corporate companies that are evading paying their taxes.
These people are already living basic, minimal, stressful lives....they don't go on holidays or go out drinking every weekend. They attend hospital appointments, support groups & a lot are housebound, they need the likes of DLA to live a basic, no frills life!

If you have a heart please sign the petition.
Thank you.

Venus of Willendorf Crochet Doll

2012-01-03T15:45:00.000Z

I came across THIS pattern over at Red Wood Stitch & just HAD to make it. Isn't she adorable...

I used a 3.5mm hook, I think the size is perfect...I can't stop holding her. Anyway it's an easy pattern to follow & I hooked her up in an evening while watching TV. It's definitely worth getting your hook & wool out for.

THANK YOU!!!!

2011-12-30T20:26:00.000Z

Hoping you all had a good Yule & Christmas. I was away from home & for the life of me couldn't remember my Blog password, so had to wait until I got home before I could post. I did however manage to read my emails....

Thank you to the person that made a donation. You totally made my Yule! The smile you put on my face stayed put for the entire day! :D Thank you.

I also got the MOST lovely comment a few days ago from Alex. Thank you SO much for that comment. I'll be honest I got a little teary reading it.

I could relate to a lot of what you wrote.
My Mum suffered with Depression herself, most of her life also, so I totally understand the stress of walking on eggshells so not to upset her. It's such a responsibility that others don't understand. I think if it was a physical problem, people would be more understanding. When I first got ill I was convinced it was to help me understand what my Mum was going through so I could help her better. A few years later she was the one doing the looking after. She once drove all the way from Inverkip to Nottingham (over 300miles) overnight arriving at 4am because I was feeling so dark. She's more than made up for the years I kept an eye on her!
The beads I found really useful, particularly when my anxiety got high & I could feel a panic attack coming on (I've lost the set I made & haven't gotten round to buying the beads to make another), so I definitively recommend them!
As for your faith, give it time. My Mum was a bit "oh it's just another phase" for the first few years, but a couple of years ago she came along to watch me in the Pagan Pride Parade in Nottingham. You can't get much more supportive than that! I'm sure yours will be the same. Once she sees that it's part of who you are & not going to be thrown away after a year or two like the ballet slippers or boy band posters she'll accept it, because it 's part of what makes you, you.

Happy life.....that's the bit that got me. You know I've been too wrapped up in trying to find a job that I've not actually realized that I am happy. Yeah, my life is far from perfect,(no job, pathetic to no social life, family problems, the occasional Depressive episode, etc) but you're right, it IS a happy life. No matter how much I bitch about it, it is a good one.
You know that is the first time I've actually said that & meant it. I need to stop focusing on the what I need to change & improve on & focus on the awesome things in my life & the accomplishments from time to time.
You've stopped me & made me smell the roses.
Thank you
If I could give you a hug consider yourself hugged!

I think I'm going to do a regular "What I'm Thankful For". I need to start remembering the positives more often.

Pagan Blogs

2011-12-21T23:07:00.000Z

I've just been told that I've been added to a list of active Pagan blogs at Lucky Pleiades.
I've not been through them yet, but I'm going to have a nose through the list.....never know you might find a gem for yourself too :)

I did stumble across this blog a few days ago that I love. It's worth checking out. Walking The Hedge.

Grant Morrison - Disinformation Con Lecture [Complete]

2011-12-21T23:00:00.000Z

A seriously interesting talk.
FYI I come from Glasgow too, so we have very similar accents, though since I've been living in England for the past decade has softened quite a bit. I've been told when I'm drunk or sleepy it comes back full force!

Blood From A Stone.

2011-12-21T22:57:00.000Z

Sorry I haven't updated in a while or added a stitch count for the Goddess Doll pattern (it's half way there), but life has thrown some very frustrating lemons at me.

Since my temporary contract ran out I have been fighting to get back into the benefit system. Ergh!
Finally got mt first JSA payment yesterday (thank goodness as my bank account was looking terrifyingly tiny), after telling folk that Yule pressies are going to be small this year (not that they're ever big, but smaller than previous years), which as embarrassing, but folk have taken it well :)

Rent & council tax benefit......*headdesk*
STILL waiting for my P45 from the agency.....6weeks & counting. To say I'm pissed off is an understatement. Luckily my rent & tax are being paid by DWP, but my claim is still temporary until I get my P45. It won't last forever & eventually they'll say "No P45? No rent paid".
That & they keep stating they don't have information about such & such. how many times do they need to see & photocopy my wage slips to see how much money I earned & was living off of before JSA kicked in.
So I have been ringing up the agency every day, getting that little bit more short with them each time asking for my P45.
If I still don't have it after Christmas, I'm going into their offices & refusing to leave until I have it in my hand.
It pisses me off SO much. I am SO desperate for a job & here's a bunch of folk that are being paid to do simple tasks & not managing to do them correctly. Fire them & hire me instead!!!

So when not pulling my hair out I've been trying as much as possible to preoccupy my mind & sadly crochet doesn't take the level of concentration I need to stay chilled.
I've been reading, researching & catching on pagan studies, particularly chaos magic....I'm finding it's making a lot of sense. Weather or not it will be a path I'll start to walk down, I don't know, but I'm finding it extremely interesting & it's filling my head & stopping me from fretting, which right now, is exactly what I need.

Alan Moore- the mindscape of alan moore- excerpt on magick

2011-12-13T15:26:00.000Z

Calm The Mind Blend

2011-11-25T17:35:00.000Z

Since I knew these few weeks were going to be stressful, I decided to be pro-active & try & regain control, so I went looking through my essential oils & came up with this.
Yes, it could just be a placebo, but so what if it works, right?

2 drops Benzoin
2 drops Clary sage
2 drops Bergamont

Benzoin (base) - stress reliever, relaxant & mood enhancer, soothing frayed nerves.

Clary Sage (top) - calms tension, lifts the mood & spirits. Also known to cause euphoria in some cases

Bergamont (middle) - Uplifting to the soul, relieves Depression, soothes frayed nerves & tension & relieves stress.

Do NOT drive or drink alcohol after massage, or while wearing or burning.

Well that's me unemployed again.

2011-11-25T17:23:00.000Z

The temporary contract has come to an end :(
I was really hoping it would get me over Yule, but alas no. So over the last week I've been running about trying to get my rent & benefits sorted out before my wages run out.
My rents sorted. YEY!
Have my interview with the job center regarding benefit tomorrow morning, so hopefully everything will be sorted out by next week. Just you watch as soon as my benefits are arranged, the agency will get back in touch!
People (professional government advisers) were telling me to go back onto Incapacity Benefit (sick), but I'm not ill right now! Yes, Job Seekers is a lot less a week (from £90ish weekly to £60ish weekly...a big drop), but with the new ESA forms & interviews...I'd rather fake health than go through all of that!
Anyway I went to the doctors to ask about getting a sick note & he agreed with me! He said that I could do with being phased into work, start off part-time then work up to full-time & to avoid repetitive work, so that if any negative thoughts start, the work will break the thought cycle. He said that work is the best thing for me to do as it will preoccupy my mind. Once again I'm right! :P

& for the first time in a very long time, I saw a GP that didn't want to throw medication down my throat. The first GP in years that I felt comfortable with & didn't feel I was being patronized or that I was wasting their time! So much so that I told him!
"Medication is the easy answer, we need to look at the root of the problem, which is what you're doing with therapy. You're intelligent, articulate. There's no reason why you can't work "
I almost felt like crying I was so happy. After being told I was "drama queen", "silly", "you people"....having GPs huff & puff & roll their eyes, I have become very defensive & avoidant regarding doctors. So much so that when I do get ill physically my boyfriend has to lecturer & nag at me to go to the doctors.
The relief of having a doctor actually on side was almost overwhelming. I'm definitely going to request to see him again if I get poorly! I've even been complicating sending a wee thank you card! It's amazing what a doctors attitude & manner can have on you.

So, I now have tons of time again.....since money looks like it's going to be seriously tight this Yule, I think I'll be looking around to see if I can make this years Yule pressies.....I just don't know what to make for folk....any ideas?

Lost Generation

2011-11-19T20:47:00.001Z

Pagan Seasonal Charts

2011-11-19T17:48:00.002Z

At last I've made up the seasonal charts from my blanket!! Told you I'd do it....eventually!
Have fun, remember to link any photos of any of your creations using the charts & I'll add them to the post. You never know it could inspire someone else!

Spring
30x31

Summer

32x28

Autumn

35x27

Winter

30x26

I don't mind you selling your finished creations, but please do not copy & sell these charts or claim them as your own.

Have fun! :)

Even longer delay to come....

2011-11-04T18:47:00.000Z

Sorry folks it looks like it's going to take me longer than I was planning to add the charts & patterns I promised as you'll never guess what!
I am now employed full time!! WOOT!

Ok, it's just temp work, but it's an on-going contract so I could be there for a few months. It's boring as hell ( factory work) but it's it's the first rung of the ladder.
I found whenever I applied for work before what kept me back was my non-existent experience, qualifications mean nothing to employers. Well now I'm getting experience, so hopefully in a few months time I can start applying for work that I actually want to do & have more success.
It's a long shift, 8am to 5pm Monday to Friday....talk about readjustment! From doing what I wanted, when I wanted, (within reason of course) with the security of benefits I'm now pretty much fully independent. (just need to sort out my rent, which should be figured out next week)
My back & feet are killing me, I've lost count of how many nails I've broken & the skin on my hands are sore & peeling due to the metal & tape I'm handling all day. That & I'm exhausted! To be brutally honest I freakin' hate the job, I loathe it with a passion, but it's a job & I refuse to take it for granted. I know there are thousands of people that would love to be where I am, so I'm going to try & get as much from the experience as possible!

So my crocheting as dwindled (I hope I'll have enough for the fair next weekend!), but I'm sure as soon as I'm used to my change in lifestyle I'll be a happy hooker again & I catch up with all that I've promised you all!
I'm really sorry it's taking so long (it must feel like I'm taking the piss), but my goodness is life spinning quickly for me right now. I haven't forgotten. Promise!

"Miss Representation": Official Trailer

2011-10-24T15:42:00.000+01:00

Sorry for the delay

2011-10-21T16:39:00.000+01:00

Hey everyone!

I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while or added the promised charts but I have been given a stall at an upcoming fair so I've been (& still am) on a making binge trying to make up enough stock.
I wasn't planning on having a stall, it was completely out of the blue so I don't have a good amount of things to sell, but I have another 2 weeks to get a decent amount of stock so hopefully I should have enough in time.

So until then I doubt I'll be able to update or add anything new, but keep popping back & I'll update ASAP. :)

Wolf Totem

2011-10-07T17:56:00.000+01:00

I have found over the past few years & more often than not, my totem animal changes from a fox to that of a wolf. She's a big gal, she stands easily up to my thigh, with a dark grey coat & the most intense golden eyes. Intense but caring. She's strong & strict but not in an intimidating way....she has the air of "This is who I am & if you don't like is. Deal with it".

I do a lot of walking (due to trying to save money & to increase my physical activity to try & keep my Depression leashed), & she walks along with me. Fox used to run round me, never slowing for a second, he has SO much energy, but Wolf stays right by my side. It feels quite empowering.

Fox still pops up from time to time, but I feel he is stepping back to allow Wolf to have a stronger influence.

Anyway I went back to the links in my Fox Totem post, to try & find some more info....

Intuition, Learning, Spirit

This totem brings faithfulness, inner strength and intuition when he enters our lives.

But he also brings learning to live with one's self.

The wolf teaches us to learn about our inner self and to find our inner power and strength.

But to achieve this, we must take risks and face our deepest fears.

A wolf totem demands sincerity.

This totem demands a lot of us but gives us much in return;

a spirit helper that is always there to help and gives us extraordinary powers of endurance.

He reminds us to listen to our inner thoughts and trust our insights.

They remind us not to waste resources and to learn how to avoid trouble and confrontations.

People with Wolf totems have the capacity to make quick and firm emotional attachments.

Trust your insights about these attachments. Wolf will guide you.

Take control of your life with Wolf’s help and do so with harmony and discipline.

http://www.linsdomain.com/totems/pages/wolf.htm

Loyalty, success, perseverance, stability and thought. Wolves are also regarded as path finders and teachers. Wolf is represented by the constellation Sirius , the Dog. In the Zuni tradition the Wolf symbolizes the direction East.

The wolf has been much misunderstood and maligned in history and is not the vicious intruder of western fairy tales. The wolf is a shy, yet very sociable creature with strong rules of behavior. Fear of the wolf is perhaps born when its eerie howl raises the hackles on our neck and in our souls. Maybe we do not fear the wolf at all, but only the wild nature within ourselves.

To American Indians , the wolf is said to be "teacher" medicine. We study wolfs ways of hunting and their social structure. The wolf is associated with the Dog Star , Sirus and some cultures belief humans came from this distant star. Wolf populations are threatened in the lower 48 states, but abundant in Alaska and Canada. Wolf has much to teach us, if only we will listen. `WOLF MEDICINE Wolves live in a communal structure like humans. The Alpha male and female lead a strict social order. Next in the order are Beta wolves who do not breed and serve as nursemaids for pups of the pack. The Omega wolf is at the bottom rung and is the 'scapegoat' in situations when the pack is being attacked. Often the Omega wolf is forced not to eat when food is scarce.

If wolf has entered the forest of your mind, it may be to teach you that all things in nature have order amid chaos and to accept your duties in life, whether they be leadership roles or otherwise, with humility and strength. `The wolf spirit teaches us to have balance between your personal needs and those of the family and community. Wolves are absolutely committed and loyal to the pack and find their place within the group. If wolf exhibits these traits, it may mean that you must examine your function within the community and loyalty.

It may also be a sign to bring better balance to the varied interests of self, family and community. `The hunting techniques of wolves served as an example for many tribes who copied them. Members of the pack form 'tag teams' who take turns chasing prey to exhaust the prey before themselves. Packs are known to have run over thirty miles a day in pursuit. Cooperation in achieving a common goal is the message conveyed here.

Wolves have developed many ways to communicate by body language and vocally. Facial ex-pressions, tail and ear movements, body posture, teeth bearing, eye squinting and scratching are part of their vocabulary. Vocally, a wide variety of growls, yelps, whines and howls make up a sophisticated system of communication. Wolf language helps the pack to identify and locate its members, establish territorial boundaries, give instruction, request assistance, sound warnings, teach the young, and generally to bring cohesion and unity to the pack.

If a wolf or wolves have entered your physic, you are fortunate to have an animal spirit to knows the importance of communication and one that will find many ways to make their messages know to you. This ability to communicate may be a sign to hone your own speaking skills to effectively relate your feelings and ideas in a good way - to pray, sing and dance in praise of the blessings of the Creator./p>

When a lone wolf is seen the wild it symbolizes freedom. When seen in a pack it represents community. If wolf appears to you alone or in a pack it is asking you to acquire the same within your own life. `The primal and piercing howl of the wolf sometimes is marking their territory boundaries. If you hear a wolf howl it might be telling you to stand your ground and defend your boundaries.

Wolves have great stamina and strength. They do not fight needlessly and often avoid fighting whenever possible. Wolf teaches to know who you are and to develop strength and confidence. `Wolf is associated with the lunar influences and energies that rule psychic perception. They teach us to respect our emotions and face the darkness within. `The wolf is ritualistic. It knows the importance of regular lunar howling ceremonies and daily social rituals designed to communicate needs and express feelings. The message of your wolf spirit may be to honour the forces of spirituality and connect with the life forces of Mother Earth.

http://www.betterliving.co.nz/content/thefamily/new-age/Totem-Animal-Wolf.aspx

Wolf is the pathfinder, the forerunner of new ideas who returns to the clan to teach and share medicine. Wolf takes one mate for life and is loyal like Dog. If you were to keep company with Wolves, you would find an enormous sense of family within the pack, as well as a strong individualistic urge, and they live by carefully defined rules and rituals. They are friendly, social, and highly intelligent.

Wolves are the epitome of the wild spirit. Their positive characteristics are numerous. Many believe that the true test of America’s sincerity about protecting the environment will revolve around whether or not the wolf remains protected and is allowed to be reintroduced into areas of the country where it has heretofore been eliminated. The wolf is the true spirit of the free and unspoiled wilderness.

The senses of Wolf are very keen, and the moon is its power ally. The moon is the symbol for psychic energy, or the unconscious that holds the secrets of knowledge and wisdom. Baying at the moon may be an indication of Wolf’s desire to connect with new ideas which are just below the surface of consciousness.

Wolf would not come to you unless you requested the appearance of the tribe’s greatest teacher. The wolf teaches you to know who you are and to develop strength, confidence and surety in that so that you do not have to demonstrate and prove yourself at all.

Wolves have a complex communication system - using body language. Usually those with wolf totems are very expressive with hands, posture, face or in some other manner. If you have difficulty conveying your moods and ideas to others, meditate and study the wolf. It will teach you how to empower your verbal communications with appropriate body language.

Wolf medicine empowers the teacher within us all to come forth and aid the children of Earth in understanding the Great Mystery and life. As you feel Wolf coming alive within you, you may wish to share your knowledge by writing or lecturing on information that will help others better understand their uniqueness or path in life. It is in the sharing of great truths that the consciousness of humanity will attain new heights.

Traditionally, someone with Wolf Medicine has a strong sense of self, and communicates well through subtle changes in voice inflection and body movements. They often find new solutions to problems while providing stability and support that one normally associates with a family structure.

http://www.birdclan.org/wolf.html

The wolf has a capacity for making quick and firm emotional attachments. Learning to trust your own insights and to secure your attachments accordingly is part of what wolf medicine teaches. The wolf can help you to hear the inner and guard you from inappropriate actions. It will guard you as it teaches you – sometimes strongly, sometimes gently – but always with love. When wolf shows up, it is time to breathe new life into your life and rituals. Find a new path, take a new journey, take control of your life. You are the governor of your life. You create it and direct it. Do so with harmony and discipline, and then you will know the true spirit of freedom.

Wolves are the epitome of stamina, known to run 35 miles a day in pursuit of prey. They are highly misunderstood animals, who have gained the reputation of being cold blooded. In reality wolves are friendly and social creatures. Aggression is something they avoid, preferring rather to growl or create a posture to show dominance. Even though living in close knit packs provide wolves with a strong sense of family, they are still able to maintain their individuality. Wolves represent the spirit of freedom, but they realize that having individual freedom requires having responsibilities.

Because wolf is a teacher and pathfinder, he comes when we need guidance in our lives. Those who have a Wolf Totem will move on to teach others about sacredness and spirituality. Wolf can also teach how to balance the responsibility of family needs and not to lose one's personal identity.

Wolf teaches us to develop strength and confidence in our decisions. He shows we will learn to trust our insights once we learn how to value our inner voice. This wisdom keeps us from inappropriate action. If wolf appears in your life examine where you need to develop more confidence and if you need more balance between friends, family, and yourself.

http://www.animaltotem.com/store.html?wc=79

Wolf Meaning and Totem Symbolism of the Wolf

To understand totem wolf symbols, one must first understand the heart of the Wolf. This takes time because the Wolf has had to endure many false stereotypes, misconceptions and misunderstandings.

Not at all the picture of ferocity or terror, the Wolf is a creature with a high sense of loyalty and strength. Another misconception is that of the “lone wolf.” To the contrary, the Wolf is actually a socialcreature, friendly, and gregarious with its counterparts.

The Wolf is an incredible communicator. By using touch, body movements, eye contactas well as many complex vocal expressions – the wolf makes his point understood. Those with totem wolf symbols are of the same inclination – they are expressive both vocally and physically. Those who have the wolf as their totem animal are naturally eloquent in speech, and also have knack for creative writing.

A quick-list of totem wolf symbolic attributes include:

Intelligence
Cunning
Communication
Friendliness
Loyalty
Generosity
Compassionate

Totem wolf symbols belong to those who truly understand the depth of passion that belong to this noble creature. The Wolf is a representative of deep faith, and profound understanding.

Further, the Wolf possess a high intellect, and have been observed using strategies about hunting, habitat and migration.

In history, the totem Wolf symbol appears with the founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus. Legend has it that the two founding brothers were raised and suckled by a she-wolf.

In Norse mythology, the Wolf is a symbol for victory when ridden by Odin and the Valkyries upon the battlefield.

As a Celtic symbol, the Wolf was a source of lunar power. Celtic lore states that the Wolf would hunt down the sun and devour it at each dusk so as to allow the power of the moon to come forth.

In Asia, the wolf guards the doors that allow entrance to heavenly, celestial realms. The Wolf is also said to be among the ancestry of Genghis Khan.

When this gracious creature appears to us, and serves as a totem in our lives, the Wolf beckons us to ask these questions:

Are you thinking about a different form of education?
Are you being a true friend, and are your friends being true to you?
Are you communicating yourself clearly to others?
Are you being loyal to yourself?
Are you incorporating strategies and planning to achieve your goals?
Are you spending enough quality time with yourself, friends and family?

http://www.whats-your-sign.com/totem-wolf-symbols.html

Teacher

The Wolf is the Soul that leaves the comfort and familiarity of the Pack, to travel out into the world of the unknown.

In her Quest for Knowledge, she begins her journey by setting off South, and it is here that she is schooled in the classroom of trial and error as she dances her way through the flames of experience.

This is the Direction of the ~Personality Center,~ learning to trust herself and her own keen intuition which has been forged through confronting both external obstacles, and her own fears. Thus, a sense of self-reliance is cultivated as she puts to test the lessons she has learned.

Then, from deep within, comes the stirring recognition that there must be more, and she is once again off on her journey, headed this time toward the West. Here, she embarks on the Journey ~Within~ as this is the Direction of the ~Great Mystery,~ or the ~Spirit Center.~

In the West she finds that the labor of her actions have borne fruit as she strives to integrate the ~Personality Center~ with the ~Spirit Center.~ She contemplates here, in silent revery, on all that has gone before. This is the time of moonlight, and as she gazes at the image of herself in the shimmering water of her soul`s reflection, her whole being is awash in the glow of joy that comes from the recognition that life is magical and that, having absorbed her lessons, she has received a Spiritual Rebirth. She then arises from the ashes of the old, as a new and enlightened being.

Then, she turns her face toward the North and when she arrives there discovers a sense of new found courage gained through resolve and determination.

She reawakens to the physical state of her being in the process of integrating ~Physical~ with ~Personality~ and ~Spirit.~ The recognition is made that one is also a physical creature, though the Spirit is the force that sustains the physical life. It is here that a time of thanksgiving and celebration is had for all that the ~Great Spirit~ has given, and for the experiences which have gone before.

Yet the East now beckons her as she listens to the haunting cries of her Pack and turns her noble head toward Home.

When she returns to the Pack, the Knowledge gained from her journey, ignites her Being, as a lantern from within. The Pack draws near to her listening for the Wisdom she will impart, as her destiny is to share what she has learned with the rest of the Pack so that the leap across the planes can be made by All. This is the ~Path of the Teacher.~

Individual, Group Consciousness

Wolf Totem understands that the unity of the Pack is crucial to his survival, yet the Pack likewise recognizes the vital contribution that each Wolf makes.

Wolves live in highly complex social structures called "Packs" with a dominant Male and Female pair, or the Alpha Male and Female, leading the Pack. Every other member not only has a "ranking" within the pack, from Beta through Omega, they also have a unique role. It is this very structure which may have been behind Rudyard Kipling`s eloquent quote:

"For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf,
and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack."

***The two legged with the Wolf as his/her Totem has an inner need to be of service for the "greater good." Although the individual with Wolf Totem enjoys the company of others, there exists as well, the need for time alone. This "lone wolf" time will be spent in quiet contemplation and reflection upon the experiences of life before translating these ~thoughts to form~ and rejoining the "Pack" once more***

http://wolfs_moon.tripod.com/wolftotemmain.html

Kids Kitty Hat

2011-10-06T19:31:00.001+01:00

At last I have finally got round to writing out the kitty hat pattern....I'm so sorry it's taken so long, hopefully it's worth the wait :)

It's kids size, for a bigger hat just add a few more inc rounds, in the hat until it's big enough for you & an extra increase row or two in the ears so that they don't look too small! Or you could always go for a thick Aran wool & bigger hook!

Needed
4.5mm hook
Black felt
Yellow felt
White wool (4ply)
A little black wool
Embellishment of your choice (button, flower, ribbon, etc)

In UK terminology
(crochet terminology chart)

HAT
Magic Ring
rnd 1: 6 dcs intto ring (6sts)
rnd2: inc into each st (12sts)
rnd3: *dc, inc* repeat round (18sts)
rnd4: *dc into next 2 sts, inc* repeat round (24 sts)
rnd5: *dc into next 3 sts, inc* repeat round (30sts)
rnd6: *dc into next 4 sts, inc* repeat round (36sts)
rnd7: *dc into next 5 sts, inc* repeat round (42sts)
rnd8: *dc into next 6 sts, inc* repeat round (48sts)
rnd9: *dc into next 7 sts, inc* repeat round (54sts)
rnd10: *dc into next 8 sts, inc* repeat round (60sts)
rnd11: *dc into next 9 sts, inc* repeat round (66sts)
rnd12: *dc into next 10 sts, inc* repeat round (72sts)
rnd13: dc in each st round (72 sts)
rnd14: *dc into next 11 sts, inc* repeat round (78sts)
rnd15: dc in each st round (78sts)
rnd16: *dc into next 12 sts, inc* repeat round (84sts)
rnd17: dc in each st round (84sts)
rnd18: *dc into next 13 sts, inc* repeat round (90sts)
rnd19: dc in each st round (90sts)
rnd20: *dc into next 14 sts, inc* repeat round (96sts)
rnd21: dc in each st round (96sts)
rnd22: *dc into next 15 sts, inc* repeat round (102sts)
rnd23: dc in each st round (102sts)
rnd24: *dc into next 16 sts, inc* repeat round (108sts)
rnd25-33: dc in each st round (108sts)
(optional rnd34: dc into first st, *ch3, miss st, dc into next st* repeat round.

EARS (make 2)
magic ring
rnd1: 4dcs into ring(4sts)
rnd2: inc into each st (8sts)
rnd3: *dc into next st, inc* repeat round (12sts)
rnd4: *dc into next 2 sts, inc* repeat round (16sts)
rnd5: *dc into next 3 sts, inc* repeat round (20sts)
rnd6: dc in each st round (20sts)
rnd6: *dc into next 4 sts, inc* repeat round (24sts)
rnd7: *dc into next 7st, htr, tr, 2tr, tr, htr,* repeat (30sts)

Stitch ears to top of the hat, 9th round from crown.
Stitch on eyes & nose & sew on whiskers.
Embellish however you wish!

***This pattern cannot be sold. For personnal use only.***
If there are any problems with the pattern please let me know so that any amendments can be made.
Also feel free to send me a link to any finished projects & I'll link to them here! :)

"I Don't Understand Suicide" Rant.

2011-10-06T16:36:00.000+01:00

I came across this on my Tumblr Dashboard & had to say something! So brace yourself......

WTF????? Yeah it’s OBVIOUS you don’t understand suicide!

The problem with the likes of Depression is that it STOPS you from seeing the beauty. It clouds EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT you have.

I attempted suicide more times that I like to recall but each & every time I truly 100% believed that if I was dead then the people around me would be happier…less embarrassed & ashamed of being related/friends with a mentally ill person, less worried about me, that they would feel freer & happier. I didn’t try & kill myself for me, I did it to try & improve the lives of the people I love. I did it BECAUSE I LOVE THEM!!!

Of course now that I am well I know that’s nonsense, but that’s what metal illness is….an illness of the thoughts, beliefs….you could stand in front of the MOST beautiful ,wonderful scene, but Depression will blind you from that sight. You won’t be able to see it.

Depression isn’t chosen, it isn’t brought upon oneself, it isn’t a fad or trend. It’s not attention seeking or selfish. It doesn’t give a fuck about gender, sexuality, status, race, religion or the size of your bank account.

Would you say the same thing about an epileptic fit? A heart attack? An asthma attack? That’s basically what you are doing…..critising someone because they are ill. Like any illness you can NOT run from your illness. Wherever you stand, your brain will still be releasing the wrong levels of chemicals.

It’s not as simple as just getting out….you think if it was, people wouldn’t? How ignorant you are if you do. Depression is the biggest reason for sick leave in the UK right now, anti-depressants are amazingly expensive (as well a having horrid side effects. We Depressives know a good anti-depressant isn’t just about numbing your emotions, but having side effects that you can tolerate.) Do you think the government would allow people to cost the country the billions it costs each year (remember we are in a recession!) to treat them if it could be cured so simply?

THERE IS NO KNOWN CURE FOR MENTAL ILLNESS.

Depression is so overwhelming….like drowning….maybe instead of the likes of me (& the BILLIONS of other mental health suffers) getting the fuck out, you should talk to me, LEARN, be compassionate & understanding….have a bit of fucking empathy instead of writing that ignorant BULLSHIT, because we already have to live was a tremendous amount of unjust guilt & discrimination

the most common mental illnesses are anxiety and depression (22% of the population) but when asked to describe mental illness 63% of people said it was ‘someone with schizophrenia’ (which affects just 1% of the population). This figure has increased from 56% ten years ago. (Department of Health 2007)
The number of people who believe that someone with a mental illness is ‘someone who has to be kept in a psychiatric or mental hospital’ has also increased over the past decade, from 47% to 59%. (Department of Health 2007)
Belief in the link between mental illness and violence has similarly risen, from 29% to 36%. (Department of Health 2007)
A fifth of employers say that they would not employ someone who had been in receipt of Incapacity Benefit. (Chartered Institute for Personnel Development May 2006)
18% of employers said that they would not employ someone who has experienced mental ill health compared to 10% who wouldn’t employ someone with a physical disability. (Chartered Institute for Personnel Development May 2006)

We really DON’T need you adding to it!

*Rant over*

Meditating with Animals - They Help You Relax And Get In Touch With Spirit | The Shaman's Well

2011-10-04T12:52:00.000+01:00

Meditating with Animals - They Help You Relax And Get In Touch With Spirit | The Shaman's Well

Interesting article....

Pagan Blanket

2011-09-24T19:13:00.001+01:00

Yey! It's finished!
I'm fairly pleased with it, a few things I'd like to change. but all in all I think it's rather groovy. :)

I've been fairly busy recently so I haven't been able to convert my charts onto the computer yet, but as soon as I have I'll post them up.

As for the others....

The Pentacle can be found on my blog, HERE
The Cernunnos chart can be found HERE
The Tribal Sun can be found HERE
The Goddess can be found HERE
The 9 Circles Square (bottom left) is altered form THIS

I can't recall the others, but when I do, I'll link to them :)

*UPDATE*
I've finally added the charts I drew for the seasons which can be found HERE

WIP Pagan Blanket

2011-09-15T14:09:00.000+01:00

Nearly finished a pagan inspired blanket. Just the edging to complete. I'm also thinking of outlining the colour work, not made my mind up yet.
I've used quite a few freely available charts, which I'll link to once I upload the finished blanket.
There's a couple of squares I've designed myself (the seasons). I'll upload the finished charts ASAP!

I think it's safe to say that the blanket has Ginges approval...

Once it's done I'll note down as many points as possible, as a lot of the stitches were chosen for specific reasons & of course link to where I found the charts etc.

Pagan Vs Christian

2011-09-10T12:59:00.000+01:00

I don't understand why there are a number of Pagans so against Christianity.
Live & let live.
Paganism is not some perfect ideal & if someone finds spiritual comfort in the likes of Christianity then so be it.
Just agree to disagree. If they get in your face, then walk away. You are wasting energy by arguing. Is anything they says going to alter your faith? No. & the same goes for them. What makes your Faith so much more important that an others? Is that not a bit egotistical?
By trying to get a Christian to see their "wrongs" or to "think outside their box", are you not trying to convert them? Are you not forcing your faith onto them? Are you not doing what you say, you hate most Christians?
If they are happy to believe what they believe, let them be.
Christians are not the enemy. Christians have had a positive effect (& yes occasionally negative effect too) on the world. Some of the biggest charity organisations in the world, such as the Red Cross are Christian.
You can't keep going back to the "Burning Times". That's like someone of colour never associating with a white person or a Jew avoiding someone because they're German. We need to remember the past to ensure it never happens again, but we can't loose ourselves in it, we can't allow the past to define us. We should make what we do now, at this very moment define who we are, not an ancestors. & lets be honest how many of the "witches" that were executed during the Burning Times, actually genuine witches? How many of them were just the local eccentric, or mentally ill, or wronged their accuser at some point?

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that not all Christians are anti-pagan. Not all Christians are narrow-minded, never suffer a witch to live, etc.There are a few that are don't get me wrong, I've had a few run ins myself with the fire & brimstone brigade, but they are the minority, so don't tar them all with the same brush. I have had more positive reactions form Christians than negative ones.

You want respect shown to your faith, then show it to others. Set a good example. I can't stand how some pagans are anti-christian, or think that Christians are a bit simple. Stinks of hypocrisy to me. "Respect my right to be Pagan! If you're not Pagan you're an idiot" Pleee-ase!!
Coexist people. There's room for all of us, Pagans & Christians alike.
Who cares wheat religion someone follows as long as it has a positive effect on those that follow it & on those that the followers live with.

Crayon Canvas.

2011-09-09T15:34:00.000+01:00

I stumbled across this HERE.
Isn't it awesome! I bet it would be great to do with kids.....obviously watch they don't get burned or scalded, by ensuring you do the melting. You could get them to choose what colours to use & I think it would be a good way to introduce them to the solid to liquid, liquid to solid change.
I imagine an embossing gun would be a bit quicker than a hairdryer, but you would have to be careful not to burn the wax or canvas.
Still I think it looks great!

Crochet Goddess Doll Pattern

2011-09-09T13:15:00.006+01:00

This is a simple design that can be left plain like the above image or easily decorated. It’s up to you. I originally wrote the design with children in mind. I think the arms are perfect to use as a handle, but it can easily be made for adults. Think of what it is going to be used for. It can be used like a poppet to represent a person or a specfic Goddess, an element, in a ritual, etc.

Go with what feels right & let your imagination soar!

This pattern is written in UK terminology

Sl st – slip stitch

Ch – chain

Dc – Double crochet (sc in US terminology)

Inc – Increase (2dc into 1 stitch)

Dec – Decrease (2 dc’s stitched together)

Gauge/hook size not important.

Equipment:

Stuffing

Darning needle

(*Stuff as you crochet...the more the better as it will help retain the shape of the doll. It will be quite firm.* )

Start of head

Rnd 1: Starting with the head, 7dc into a magic ring. Sl st together. Ch1. End all rounds in this way.

Rnd 2: inc into each st around. (14)

Rnd 3: dc, inc. Repeat round. (21)

Rnd 4: 2 dc, inc. Repeat around (28)

Rnd 5: dc in each st around. (28)

Rnd 6: 3 dc, inc . Repeat around. (35)

Rnd 7-10: dc in each st around. (35)

Rnd 11: 3dc, dec. Repeat around. (28)

Rnd 12: dc in each st around. (28)

Rnd 13: 2dc, dec. Repeat around. (21)

Rnd 14: dc, dec. Repeat around. (14)

Rnd 15: dec in each st around (7)

Stuff tightly.

Start of torso

Rnd16: inc into each st around. (14)

Rnd 17: dc, inc. Repeat around. (21)

Rnd 18: 2 dc, inc. Repeat around (28)

Rnd 19: dc around (28)

Rnd 20: 3dc, inc. Repeat around. (35)

Rnd 21-25: dc around (35)

Rnd 26: 3dc, dec. Repeat around. (28)

Rnd 27: dc around. (28)

Rnd 28-29: 2dc, dec. Repeat around. (16)

Stuff tightly

Start of bottom

Rnd 30: inc into each st around.(32)

Rnd 31: inc 3, dc. Repeat around. (64)

Rnd 32-39: dc around. (64)

Rnd 40: 10dc, dec. Repeat around. (56)

Rnd 41: dc around. (56)

Rnd 42: 8dc, dec around. Dc in last 2dc. (50)

Rnd 43: 7dc, dec around. Dc in last 2dc. (44)

Rnd 44: 6dc, dec around. Dc in last 2dc. (38)

Rnd 45: 5dc, dec around. Dc in last 2dc. (32)

Rnd 46: 4dc, dec around. Dc in last 2dc. (26)

Rnd 47: 3dc, dec around. Dc in last 2dc. (20)

Rnd 48: 2dc, dec around. (14)

Stuff tightly.

Rnd 49: 2dc, dec. Repeat around. (7)

Rnd 50: dc, dec. Repeat around. Dc in last dc. (5)

Rnd 51:dec around until bottom is closed. Fasten off securely leaving a length of wool. By pulling on this it will help shape the bottom. Weave into the bottom.

Arms

Ch 60.

Dc in each st for 12 rows.

Whip stitch sides together.

Stuff tightly. Use plenty of stuffing. The more the better. Use a knitting needle/pencil to push the stuffing into the crocheted tube.

Position the end of the arms two rows down from the neck, making a curved arch over the head.

(This could easily be altered so the arms are facing down, making a embracing position.)

· Optional extras

Herbs – these can be placed in with the stuffing
Embellishments -Some suggestions
Shells for water
Feathers for air
Flowers for earth
Red beads/sequins for fire
Silver/white glitter for the spirit. Use a colour of wool to correspond to a specific element.
Fill a small lidded tub (such as a Kinder Egg) with beads, rice etc. Glue round the lid & place in doll while stuffing to create a rattle
Thread beads onto wool before you crochet. Slip a bead into each stitch for a round, to create a necklace of beads. Stitched on beads have a tenacity of coming loose. Not good if you plan to give the doll to a child. This way the beads will only come off if the beads break.
Stitch on sigils, runes etc

PLEASE do NOT sell this pattern. You are free to sell the completed dolls. If this is seen for sale anywhere please report the seller & let me know. Thank you .

I'm working on adding a free PDF upload, so if you would prefer the pattern in PDF keep popping back.
I would LOVE to see any dolls hooked up, so if you make one (or more) please take a picture & I'll happily add it here to share with others. :)

If there are any problems with the pattern (mistakes etc) feel free to leave a comment & I'll do my best to help you out!

Now to be really cheeky now. For those that don't know I'm currently unemployed & really struggling to find work (trust me to get well during a recession!) & any help would be WONDERFUL!

Amount is unimportant, but anything given would be greatly appreciated. Particularly with Winter coming up & having storage heating. It's FAR form cheap. Thank you :)

Blasphemous Girls & Guys Unite!

2011-02-04T22:46:00.000Z

Guess where I'll be in March! XD

Oooo....I'm Stylish!

2011-02-03T19:18:00.001Z

Rules:
1. Thank and link to the person who gave you the award.
2. Jot down 7 random facts about yourself.
3. Give the award to 15 other bloggers and let them know about it.

Thankies to Lady Euphoria for giving me this little award. :)

Random facts!
1- I giggle hysterically when I'm in a lot of pain (it has to be quite a bit)
2 - I was born a month premature.
3 - LOVE fudge!
4 - Suffers from SEVERE bouts of misanthropy
5 - Has a strong dislike to the bus company Viola....it would be nice if they actually followed their time-table
6 - I'm a lip biter
7 - I HATE college computers. Could they get any slower? I think not!

http://jeftoonportfolio.blogspot.com/ for some AWESOME artwork
http://aprildraven.blogspot.com/ Really cute crochet....plus some freebies!
http://cthulhucrochet.blogspot.com/ Crochet & cross-stitch gems!
http://www.digitaldatacorruption.com/ Some really groovy digital art
http://extremecraft.typepad.com/extreme_craft/ Fun art & crafts!
http://freeamigurumipatterns.blogspot.com/ As the name says
http://freebiesforcrafters.blogspot.com/ again as the same says!
http://lakecocytus.blogspot.com/ mental health blog....
http://bennewmanart.blogspot.com/ some more AWESOME artwork
http://www.thehookandi.com/ crochet & crafts
http://totallytutorials.blogspot.com/ Tutorials on just about EVERYTHING!
http://www.twinkiechan.com/blog/ Some awesome crochet inspiration! I love Twinkie!
http://whatnottocrochet.wordpress.com/ Crochet humor....
http://wolfdreamer-oth.blogspot.com/ Yet another crochet blog....FREE patterns though!

And last but not least http://www.blasphemousgirldesigns.com/. Who could NOT love Mrs Murphy! \m/

GLOSSARY: THE GUIDE TO AROMATHERAPY

2011-02-03T18:42:00.000Z

· ABORTIFACIENT: Induces childbirth or premature labour.

· AEROPHAGY. An excess of air in the alimentary canal that is relieved through burping or flatulence.

· ALTERATIVE: Gradually improves the nutritional state of the body.

· ANALGESIC: Relieves or reduces pain.

· ANAPHRODISIAC: Reduces sexual desire.

· ANESTHETIC: Numbs the nerves and causes a loss of sensation.

· ANTHELMINTIC: Expels or kills intestinal worms.

· ANTIBACTERIAL: Kills bacteria.

· ANTIDEPRESSANT: Reduces or prevents depression.

· ANTIDIARRHOEIC: Relieves diarrhoea.

· ANTIDOTE: Counteracts a poison.

· ANTIEMETIC: Counteracts nausea and stops vomiting.

· ANTIFUNGAL: Kills fungal infections.

· ANTIGALACTAGOGUE: Reduces the production of milk secretion of nursing mothers.

· ANTI-INFLAMMATORY. Reduces inflammation.

· ANTILITHIC: Prevents formation of stones or calculus.

· ANTINEURALGIC: Stops nerve pain.

· ANTIPHLOGISTIC: Counteracts, reduces, or prevents inflammation.

· ANTIPRURITIC: Relieves or prevents itching.

· ANTIPUTRID: Stops putrefaction.

· ANTISCLEROTIC: Removes deposits from circulatory vessels.

· ANTISCORBUTIC: Preventative for scurvy.

· ANTISEPTIC: Inhibits the growth of and kills bacteria.

· ANTISPASMODIC: Relieves or prevents spasms, cramps, and convulsions.

· ANTISUDORIFIC: Reduces perspiration.

· ANTITOXIC: Counteracts poisons.

· ANTITUSSIVE: Relieves coughs.

· ANTIVIRAL: Weakens or kills viruses.

· APERIENT: A gentle purgative of the bowels.

· APERITIF: Appetite stimulant.

· APHRODISIAC: Arouses sexual desires.

· BALSAMIC: Softens phlegm.

· BRONCHODILATOR: Expands the spastic bronchial tube.

· CALMATIVE: Mild sedative or tranquilizer.

· CARDIAC: Stimulates or affects the heart.

· CARDIOTONIC: Tones the heart muscle.

· CARMINATIVE: Expels gas from the intestines.

· CEPHALIC: Problems relating to the head.

· CHOLAGOGUE: Increases the flow of bile.

· CHOLERETIC: Stimulates the production of bile.

· CICATRIZANT: Helps the formation of scar tissue; healing.

· COAGULANT: Clots the blood.

· CYTOPHYLACTIC: Protects the cells of the organism.

· DECONGESTANT: Relieves congestion.

· DEMULCENT: Soothes irritated tissue, particularly mucous membranes.

· DEPURATIVE: Cleanses and purifies the blood and internal organs.

· DETERSIVE: Detergent. Cleanses wounds and sores, and promotes the formation of scar tissue.

· DIAPHORETIC: Causes perspiration.

· DISINFECTANT: Kills infections and disease producing microorganisms.

· DIURETIC: Increases the secretion and elimination of urine.

· EMETIC: Induces vomiting.

· EMMENAGOGUE: Promotes and regulates menstruation.

· EMOLLIENT: Softens the skin, and soothes inflamed and irritated tissues.

· ESTROGENIC: Similar to estrogens.

· EUPHORIANT: Brings on an exaggerated sense of physical and emotional well-being.

· EXPECTORANT: Promotes the discharge of mucous from the lungs and bronchial tubes.

· FEBRIFUGE: Reduces or prevents fevers.

· FIXATIVE: Holds the scent of a fragrance.

· GALACTAGOGUE: Promotes or increases the secretion of milk in nursing mothers.

· GERMICIDE: Kills germs.

· HALLUCINOGEN: Induces hallucinations-an imagined or false sense of perception.

· HEMOSTATIC: Stops haemorrhaging.

· HEPATIC: That which acts on the liver.

· HYPERTENSOR: Raises the blood pressure.

· HYPNOTIC: Induces sleep.

· HYPOTENSOR: Lowers the blood pressure.

· INSECTICIDE: Kills insects.

· LARVICIDE: Kills the larvae of insects.

· LAXATIVE: Promotes the elimination from the bowels; a mild purgative.

· NERVINE: Calming and soothing to the nervous system.

· PARASITICIDE: Kills parasites.

· PECTORAL: Affecting the respiratory system.

· PURGATIVE: Promotes vigorous elimination from the bowels.

· REGENERATOR: Promotes new growth or repair of structures or tissues.

· REJUVENATOR: Assists in promoting a youthful appearance.

· RELAXANT: Lessens or reduces tension, and produces relaxation.

· RESOLVENT: Reduces swellings.

· RESTORATIVE: Restores consciousness and/or normal physiological activity.

· RUBEFACIENT: A local irritant that reddens the skin.

· SEDATIVE: Calms anxiety and promotes drowsiness.

· STIMULANT: Excites or quickens an activity in the body.

· STOMACHIC: Strengthens, stimulates, and tones the stomach.

· SUDORIFIC: Promotes or increases perspiration.

· TONIC: Strengthens and revitalises the body or specific organs.

· TRANQUILIZER: Calms the nerves.

· VASOCONSTRICTOR: Constricts the blood vessels.

· VASODILATOR: Dilates the blood vessels.

· VERMIFUGE: Expels intestinal worms.

· VULNERARY. Assists healing of wounds and sores by external application.

http://www.ladyoftheearth.com/

You Know You're English When....

2010-09-25T23:29:00.000+01:00

To show I'm not racist, here's an english version from Kish-Kashi.....lets see how 10 years of living in the midlands has effected me.....lol

1. You know how to (correctly) pronounce Edinburgh, Buckinghamshire, Welwyn Garden City, Loughborough and Gloucester.

2. You know how to use HP sauce, Worcestershire sauce, BBQ sauce, and you do use them. All the time.

3. Tea is a drink and a meal. (NO. What the actual F*CK)

4. English people don't only drive on the left, they walk on the left.

5. You own at least 5 umbrellas and 3 overcoats.

6. The weather forecast for every day of the year, all year, is one of the following:

a) Cloudy
b) Rain
c) Showers
d) Snow
e) Hail
f) Strong wind
g) All of the above

7. You know what pub stands for, and where the nearest one to your house is. (doesn't everyone know?!?!)

8. You love beer. Warm. And flat.

9. 5 pounds for a pack of cigarettes is normal for you unless you travel abroad, in which case you bring them back in thousands, and refuse to buy cigarettes in England should you run out.

10. There is a 70% chance the last time you saw a completely blue sky it was outside the UK.

11. When English people actually use the word "sky", 99% of the time it refers to the satellite TV.

12. Talking about the weather is a perfectly acceptable way to start a conversation.

13. A conversation about the weather will usually derive into one about football, followed by drinking. Beer. In a pub.

14. You've either seen every episode of Eastenders and Hollyoaks,or you've always heard about them and never seen a single episode.

15. You recognise Northern, Southern, Liverpool, Scottish, Welsh and Irish accents within the first 6 words of conversation.

16. Chips are an independent dish, not a side order.

17. You hate the size and weight of English coins. (Especially 2p ones)

18. You think every website should end in .co.uk, and google.com is for fancy foreigners.

19. You've seen a 50 pound note, and pissed off your corner shop by using one to buy a packet of cigarettes. (Unless you're foreign, refer to number 9.)

20. You've seen a cricket and/or rugby match, and you know the only countries that play these sports are either part of the UK, British Isles, or of the British Commonwealth.

21. You call people "mate" even women. Ending sentences with "cheers mate" is considered polite and courteous in some parts of England.

22. You understand English humour, and have somehow managed to appreciate it. You find John Cleese and Rowan Atkinson funny. (Funny? Hilarious!)

23. You know at least 2 of the sign anagrams from the Fawlty Towers hotel. (eg: Watery Fowls, Warty Towels, Fatty Owls, Flowery Twats)

24. Curry is as English as sausage and mash with onion gravy. And you love them both so much.

25. You've been to the Brighton pier. Twice.

26. "Your calling credit is running low. Please arrange a top-up." (I freakin' HATE HATE HATE that! Did I say I hated that, because I do)

27. You love cashback, even though you NEVER get any. However, you get pissed off when you go abroad because shop attendants don't ask you if you want cashback.

28. You know what a chav is and how to spot one. (shoot on sight!)

29. You've seen an umbrella shop.

30. You own at least one fake ID.

31. You've been fined for "losing"/not having your train ticket.

32. The cheapest taxi to anywhere, ever, is 10 pounds. If the fare says 8.49, the driver presses a button which rounds it up to 10, (he claims he helped you with your luggage, but you don't have any...)

33. You've had a one on one fight with a daddy long legs. And lost. (I send Ginge in....he always wins!)

34. When you go to McDonalds you fill at least 10 of those sauce things just because they're free. You know fine well you won't use more than 2. (YUCK! I HATE McDonalds)

35. Someone has randomly tried to sell you marijuana before. They proposed it to you as "bangin' dro", "kwality skunk" or simply "sensi", and the qualitative description was "bang bang", or a similar onomatopoeia.

36. You've been referred to as "mate" by at least 500 people, 75% of whom you don't know.

37. Smoking 'rollies' is completely socially acceptable. Even though they look like joints.

38. It is EXTREMELY rare for someone you don't know to ask you for a cigarette, and if they do they beg. Like REALLY beg: "Excuse me mate (You don't know the person, see Nº36.) Can i ask u for a massive favour? Can I please nick a fag from you?" "Thanks I'm sorry to be rude but can I nick another one for my mate, mate? If not thats cool bruv. Cheers Mate" (I hate that..no means no twat!)

39. You've gotten into a fight for supporting the other team than that of the chavs (See 28.) sitting next to you.

40. You've gotten into a fight for not being English.

41. You've gotten into a fight for being English, but from a different part of England.

42. You get into fights weekly.

43. You drink cider. With blackcurrant. (I've been know to have the odd pint or so...)

44. You've bought a 2L bottle of strongbow for 69p and drank it at home, alone. This doesn't seem to shock people, especially university students.

45. Clothes from topshop/topman are cool in England, but you can't seem to wear them anywhere else in the world. (who the hell can AFFORD to shop in Topshop!?!?!)

46. Emos don't shock you any more. You even know a couple. (they just tend to annoy me)

47. Grapes have seeds? REALLY!?

48. You've had your phone stolen at least twice. Once at least by a chav.

49. As you're reading this, it's probably raining in England.

50. You know the number of at least one Domino's Pizza off by heart. And that of three other takeaways.

51. If you're brave enough to drive on the left, you've knocked at least 6 couriers off their bikes before.

52. You hate Rihanna for ruining summer 2007 with the song "Umbrella" (Weather forecast for July/August 07 = SHOWERS - See Nº6.)

53. You always order a double or triple when ordering spirits. (its cheaper that way)

54. In foreign countries, you blame people for not speaking English, never yourself for not speaking the native language.

55. Kettles. I don't have to explain this one

56. Ribena.

57. You despise Microsoft and their "US English".

58. The use of the word "wicked". Enough said.

You Know When You're Scottish When...

2010-09-25T23:12:00.000+01:00

1. ‘Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine and a northerly wind’ is good weather!

2. The only sausage you like is square. (all bow to the slice!!! )

3. You have been forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at high school.

4. You know a wide vocabulary of random Scottish words -- an idiot is a numpty. Aye -- yes, Aye right -- not likely, Auldjin -- someone over 40, Baltic- freezing.

5. You have an irrational need to eat anything fried with your supper from the chippy -- haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage, fish, chicken.

6. You used to love destroying your teeth when you where young; Buchanan’s toffees, Wham bars, tablet, Irn-Bru bars, Cola cubes etc.

7. You have an enormous feeling of dread when every Scotland play a diddy team.

8. You happily engage in conversation about the weather.

9. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia, Deacon Blue, Big Country etc. You still love it when your in a club abroad and they play something Scottish( You”l probably even ask the dj to play it again)

10. You take a perverse pride in the fact Scotland has the highest number of alcohol and smoking related deaths in Europe.

11. You need to watch Glen Michael’s cartoon Cavalcade on a Sunday afternoon with his sidekick oil lamp called Paladin. (I even have hos autograph somewhere)

12. You get Oor Wullie or Broons annuals at Christmas.

13. You have come in from the pub pissed with flatmate’s and watch Weir’s Way, engrossed by a little guy with a bobbly hat walking around Scotland.

14. You can tell where another scot is from by there accent, “Awright pal, gonnae gies a wee swatch oa yur Record, cheers, magic
pal” Fifer: “Aye, that wifie is getting it oan wi a laddie fae the
butchers” Dundonian: “Twa bridies, a plen ane in an ingin ane an a”
Aberdonian: “Fit ya bin up tae, fair few quines in the night eh?”
Invernesian: “Ah-ee, Right Enufff! “How’s you keeeeeepeeeen?”.

15. You see cops and hear someone shout ‘Errrapolis’.

16. You have participated in or witnessed people having a ‘square go’.

17. You know that when someone asks you which school you went to, they want to know if your a Protestant or Catholic. (I've always hated that!)

18. You have eaten lots and lots of random Scottish food like mince an' tatties, haggis, cullen skink, stovies, Tunnock’s tea cakes/Snowballs, Scott’s porage oats, Macaroon bars, Baxter’s Soup, Scotch pies, Scotch eggs, oatcakes, shortbread and Arbroath smokies.

19. A JAKEY has asked you for money: ‘Got any spare change hen?’.

20. You think nothing odd waiting expectantly for your 1p change from the shop keeper.

21. You know the right response to ‘yoo dancin’ is ‘yoo askin’, followed by ‘am askin’ and finally ‘them am dancin!!’

22. You know that whenever you see sawdust it reminds you of pools of vomit because that’s what the ‘jannies’ used to chuck on it. ( *shudder* yes... )

23. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn’t wear a kilt. (He must wear a freeking kilt! (glares) Damn you Mr.T for being to much of a wuss to event try! Man + kilt = SEXY )

24. You don’t do shopping, you do the ‘messages’.

25. You’re sitting on the train/bus and a drunk man sits beside you, telling you a ‘joke’ and saying ‘I’m no annyoying ye am a hen/pal?’ You: ‘Not at all, yer fine. Ah i think this is my stop!’

26. A Scottish male can have a phone conversation using only ‘awright’, ‘aye’ and ‘naw’. (example - my brother, my dad)

27. You have experienced peer pressure to have an alcoholic drink after you’ve ordered something non-alcoholic. ‘Mon, have a drink, whit’s wrang, ye driving? Naw. You know well? Naw. Get yersel a drink.’

28. You know ye cannae fling pieces oot a 20-storey flat, seven hundred hungry weans’ll testify, to that. If it’s butter, cheese or jeely, if the breid is plain or pan, the odds against it reaching earth are 99 tae wan.

29. You know that going to a friend’s house for a party means bring your own drinks.

30. Your holiday abroad is ruined if you hear there is a heatwave in Scotland while you’re away. (DAMMIT!)

31. Your national team goes 2-0 up against the Czechs in a qualifier in Prague, and your mate says ‘We’ll end up losing 3-2 here!’ and you think ‘probably’.

32. You can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Auchtermuchty.

33. You like deep fried pizza from the chippie. (never actually tried it)

34. You’re used to four seasons in one day. (sometimes twice a day XD )

35. You cant pass a chippie/kebab shop without drooling while you’re drunk.

36. You can fall about drunk without spilling your drink. (a natural talent I like to think!)

37. You see people wearing shellsuits with burberry accessories -- and thinks that’s pure classs! -( no I think townie (chav) wanker)

38. You measure distance in minutes. (practically law up here)

39. You can understand Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him in your own family.

40. You go to Saltcoats because you think it is like going to the ocean. (Have been once...wasn't impressed!)

41. You can make a whole sentence with just swear words. (Can't everyone?)

42. You know what haggis is made with -- and still eat it. (Hell yeah..YUM-MY!)

43. Somebody you know used a football schedule to plan there wedding day date. (several)

44. You’ve been at a wedding and football scores are announced in the church/chapel.

45. You aren’t surprised to find curries, pizza’s, kebabs, Irn-bru, fags and nappies in one shop.

46. Your seaside home has a calor gas under it.

47. You know Irn-bru is a hangover cure. (works every time!)

48. You learned to swear before you learned to do sums.

49. You understand this and are going to send it to your pals.

50. You are 100 per cent Scottish if you have ever heard these words: How’s it hingin?, clatty, boggin, cludgie, Ba-heid, baw bag, and double nugget. ("Here comes a highland granny. Two big tits & a hairy *cough*!)

Thank to my sister let me nick this off her blog....well technically she didn't let me per say...

Ten Cognitive (Thinking) Traps

2010-09-25T22:38:00.002+01:00

1 All or nothing thinking:

You see things in black & white categories & there are no shades of grey. If a situation is less than perfect you see it as a total failure.

2. Overgeneralization:

Here, one unfortunate event leads to the assumption that this will happen every time, but remember there is no justification for seeing one instance as proving the rule. Recognised by thinking involving the words always or never.

3. Mental Filter:

You pick out a single negative detail & dwell on it exclusively. One word of critics eradicates all the praise you have received.

4. Disqualifying the positive:

You reject the positive experiences by insisting they don’t count, maybe they are a fluke. If you do a good job, you tell yourself it was easy, or anyone could have done it.

5. Jumping to conclusions:

You interpret things negatively when there are no facts to support your conclusion. Two common variations are mind-reading (you arbitrarily assume that someone is reacting negatively to you), & fortune telling (You predict that things will turn out badly).

6. Catastrophising :

You exaggerate the importance of your own problems & shortcomings to disaster proportions – “I made a mistake, how awful; I can never show myself here again.” Do you feel this way about other people when you see them make a mistake?

7. Emotional Reasoning:

You take your feelings as facts, assuming your negative emotions reflect the way things really are, as in “I feel guilty, so I must be a rotten person”, or “I feel anxious, so there must be some real danger.”

8. Should statements:

Based upon out assumptions, you think you should be perfect all the time, should never make a fuss or never get angry. You may assume others should always be able to anticipate your needs, or this is proof they don’t care for you.

9. Labelling:

An extreme form of all or nothing thinking, you label yourself as a ‘useless person’ on the basis of one mistake. It makes as much sense labelling yourself a joiner, because you put up a shelf.

10. Personalisation & blame:

You hold yourself personally responsible for events that aren’t entirely under your control, & which may involve others’ actions or decisions making too.

"Not Perfect"

2010-09-16T14:38:00.000+01:00

This is my Earth
And I live in it
It's one third dirt
And two thirds water
And it rotates and revolves through space
At rather an impressive pace
And never even messes up my hair
And here's the really weird thing
The force created by its spin
Is the force that stops the chaos flooding in

This is my Earth
And it's fine
It's where I spend the vast majority of my time
It's not perfect
But it's mine
It's not perfect

This is my house
And I live in it
It's made of cracks
And photographs
We rent it off a guy who bought it from a guy
Who bought it from a guy
Whose grandad left it to him
And the weirdest thing is that this house
Has locks to keep the baddies out
But they're mostly used to lock ourselves in

This is my house
And it's fine
It's where I spend the vast majority of my time
It's not perfect
But it's mine
It's not perfect

This is my body
And I live in it
It's x
And x months old
It's changed a lot since it was new
It's done stuff it wasn't built to do
I often try to fill it up with wine
And the weirdest thing about it is
I spend so much time hating it
But it never says a bad word about me

This is my body
And it's fine
It's where I spend the vast majority of my time
It's not perfect
But it's mine
It's not perfect

This is my brain
And I live in it
It's made of love
And bad song lyrics
It's tucked away behind my eyes
Where all my fucked up thoughts can hide
Cos God forbid I hurt somebody
And the weird thing about my mind
Is that every answer that you find
Is the basis of a brand new cliche

This is my brain
And it's fine
It's where I spend the vast majority of my time
It's not perfect
But it's mine
It's not perfect
I'm not quite sure I've worked out how to work it
It's not perfect
But it's mine

Rules Of Being Human

2010-09-16T08:48:00.000+01:00

Rules of Being Human by Dan Millman

When you were born, you didn't come with an owner's manual. These guidelines help make life work better!

You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but make the best of it because it’s going to be with you for the rest of your life.

You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full time informal school called life on planet Earth. Every person or incident is the Universal Teacher

There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation. ‘Failures’ are as much a part of the process as ‘Successes’

A lesson is repeated until it is learned. It is presented to you in various forms until you learn it, then you go to the next lesson.

If you don’t learn easy lessons they get harder. External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state; pain is how your subconscious gets your attention. First it whispers, then it Yells. When you clear inner obstructions, your outside world changes.

You will know you have learned a lesson when your actions change. Wisdom is practice, practice, practice, practice. Remember a little of Something is better than a lot of Nothing.

‘THERE’ is no better than ‘HERE’. When your ‘THERE’ becomes ‘HERE’, you simply obtain another ‘THERE’ that looks better than ‘HERE’

Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself.

Your life is up to you. Spirit provides the canvas you do the painting. There are three kinds of people; those who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened. Take charge of your life - or someone else will.

You always get what you want. Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences and people you attract, therefore only the foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have.

There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences and responsibilities. Corollary Law: no one gets away with anything; everything has a value – and a price; you pay now, or you pay later.

Your answers lie inside you. Children need guidance from others; as we mature, we trust our hearts, where the laws of spirit are written. You must know more than you have heard or read or been told. All you need to do this is look, listen and trust.

You will tend to forget all this. That’s why it’s good to remind one another.

What NOT To Say To Someone With A MI

2010-08-30T15:46:00.000+01:00

Don't tell me to stop taking my meds.
Don't say, "I got over it, and I know you can too."
Don't pretend it'll go away if you don't take any notice of it.
Don't tell me I'm doing it to myself.
Don't tell me how to get better (I've heard it, and probably tried it all.) Especially if telling me how to get better amounts to, "Just cheer up."
Don't treat me like you're better/wiser/stronger than me.
Don't tell me how life is or what the world is like.
Don't underestimate what I have to deal with every single day just to scrape by. Chances are, my "willpower" and "strength" are vastly greater than people who DON'T have to deal with MI. Don't assume MI is a moral or character weakness. Don't assume I deserve it or that I'm doing it to myself.
Try to understand... by listening and asking questions.

& my personal favorite..... "YES I HAVE TAKEN MY MEDS! I'm just having a bloody bad day"

Just because someone is on medication it doesn't mean they loose their right to have a shitty day & be in a bad mood. Are you always happy?

What Not To Do With The Mentally Unwell

2010-08-30T15:38:00.000+01:00

1. Baby us - I understand that I am sick and you are trying to help but by treating me like an infant reinforces my own thoughts that I am basically useless

2. Speak louder then normal - I have severe depression, post traumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder and generalized anxiety disorder none of which affect my hearing or will get your advice/suggestion/support through quicker

3. Speak to me slower then normal - Again I have multiple of disorders that at time distorts my thinking or perception but none of which affected my intelligence level. Treat me like an idiot and I will make you look stupid.

4. Treat me like I am going to break - A wrong comment or a slight slip is not going to send me running for the deep end. Trust me the garbage I tell myself is a hundred times worse then anything you can say.

5. Use cliches - Telling me to pull up my boots and charge forward or to just focus on the positive reinforces the idea that I need to surround myself with smarter people who understand the difference between a case of the blues and severe depression. If it was that easy do you really think I would still be in the same position.

6. Forget who you are talking too - The person that you remember from five years ago is the same one standing in front of you. When the diagnosis was dropped on me with borderline personality disorder the only thing that changed is now I am fortunate enough to carry a suitcase full of stigma with me. Hate to break it to you but I have always been borderline and the only difference is the way you now look at me.

7. Leave me alone - When a person enters the dark world of depression the first thing they do is isolate themselves to simplify their own world. By giving me space to figure out things on my own reinforces the negative thoughts in my head saying I am alone fighting a battle that I am positive that I will lose. A simple phone call reminds me that there are reasons to keep fighting and that when I need it someone is there.

8. Focus on the disorders - The best part of dealing with other people means I can allow my attention to go elsewhere for a while and not the battle in my head. The story of your child's trip to the library is as helpful to my recovery as any med.

9. Ignore the warning signs - If I am doing something that appears to be negative and on a path that leads to nothing good then be my friend and speak up. I spend so much time in a bad head space that at times I do not realize the danger that I am in as it all seems normal to me.

10. Believe the stigma -. Always look for the human being and then the disorders not the other way around. Remember mental illness effects one out of four people so tomorrow someone you love could be in my shoes and how would you like people to treat them?

2010-08-29T20:23:00.000+01:00

Challenges to Upsetting Thoughts.

2010-08-20T18:47:00.000+01:00

What is the evidence?

What evidence do I have to support my thoughts?

What evidence do I have against them?

What alternative views are there?

How would someone else view this situation?

How would I have viewed the situation in the past?

What thinking error am I making?

· Am I thinking in all or nothing terms? Ignoring the middle ground?

· Am I awfulising or catastrophising? Overestimating the chance of disaster?

· Am I personalising? Blaming myself for something which is not my fault?

· Am I focusing on the negative? Looking on the dark side; ignoring my strength?

· Am I jumping to conclusions? Predicting the future & mind-reading?

· Am I living by fixed rules? Fretting about how things ought to be; overusing the words should, must & can’t?

What action can I take?

What can I do to change my situation? Am I overlooking solutions to problems on the assumption they won’t work?

What is the worst possible outcome?

What is the worst thing that can happen & how bad would that really be?

2010-08-13T19:23:00.001+01:00

Alana

2010-07-24T14:15:00.000+01:00

My latest painting......

2010-07-23T22:34:00.000+01:00

Been listening to Newton Faulkner a lot over the past few days....the guy is a musical genius!!

I Need Something

Ageing Superhero

People Should Smile More

2010-07-22T22:35:00.001+01:00

I can't really put into words how I'm feeling right now.......

I hate to think where I'd be without T.

Do you like the band The New Slaves? Do you have a favourite song by them?

2010-07-18T18:50:00.001+01:00

Ask me anything...I dare you!

Are you in love?

2010-07-11T22:19:00.001+01:00

Completely head over heels!

Ask me anything...I dare you!

what is your happiest childhood memory?

2010-07-11T22:05:00.005+01:00

Pass

Ask me anything...I dare you!

What kind of mother would you be according to you?

2010-07-11T22:05:00.003+01:00

Not perfect, buy loyal & loving

Ask me anything...I dare you!

How do you feel about yourself now?

2010-07-11T22:05:00.001+01:00

That there's plenty of room for improvement....

Ask me anything...I dare you!

Pause....

2010-07-11T20:03:00.001+01:00

When Life Gives You Lemons, Throw Them Back!

2010-06-25T21:32:00.000+01:00

It's been AGES since I lasted posted!
I'm afraid my head has been somewhat screwed up recently. There's been a few times when I've thought I should of stayed on my medication.....but then I remember how much easier it is to laugh now I'm not taking them anymore!
The whole DWP stuff really got to me but hopefully everything is sorted out now! But I'm not 100% sure.
The stress has really hit my immune system, since my last entry I've had the flu twice & a dose of the cold! :S
Just when I thought things were picking up & stress was starting to reduce I got a bill for nearly £400 in the post last week from my housing ass. Well I actually wouldn't call it a bill, just a demand for money...I have no idea what exactly it is for.
I phoned them twice asking them what it was all about & for a break down of the bill & copies of the letters they claim they have already sent me. All I found out was that it was for "damage" to my old flat & that they will send me what I requested & that they'd ring me back. A week later.....No ring back. No letters. No photos! Nowt! Not a bean! Nothing!
So here I am already fairly stressed out to begin with, & now with threats of court action & bailiffs, for money I simply don't have! To say I was not a happy bunny would be a slight understatement.
Anyway, I am now a client of a lovely solicitor who has post a stop on any court action or bailiffs at the door & will help me find out just what the housing ass. are charging me for!
Still feeling stressed, but nowhere near as much....I actually slept quite well last night!

What else has happened.....my digital camera has flown to silicon heaven :( Talk about gutted! I loved my camera. Luckily my mobile phone takes some quite good pictures, so I can still take photos....but it's not really the same is it!

Some good stuff has happened too tho....I do LOVE my fella.....he bought me a ticket for a day at the Download Festival! \m/

Mr T (aint he lovveeelllyyyy!) with surprisingly yummy Nachos!

Dommin at the acoustic stage

Panic Cell at the acoustic stage (we were very impressed)

HIM at the second stage (started off AWFUL, but they did a great version of "Rebel Yell" at the end)

& headliners for that day, Rage Against The Machine on the main stage....OMG did they KICK ASS!!!!

Traditional Giant Sausages Soft Drinks.....nope we ain't got a clue! I think it's bottled liquified pork fat LOL :P

It may not of been for the entire weekend & we were both aching all over the next day.....but it was AWESOME \m/

What else.....
I'm now an Avon rep! Haven't earned a penny yet (I'm actually minus a couple of quid) but it's been a good way to get to know the local area & meet the neighbors! From the look of it though I should be making a bit of money for this campaign.....fingers crossed!
Ginge has actually been coming with me when I've been posting or picking up brochures...

He's got a bit of a fan base now. I went to post a few more books last week without him & a woman actually stopped me to ask me where Ginge was! & I'm sure I heard some kids calling "Ginge-y" the other day too. (he is seriously great with kids....patience of an angel my moggy!
Looks like I'm developing the mad cat lady rep again! LOL

2010-06-04T17:21:00.000+01:00

can't you see i breathe for you?: Cross out what you've done.

Graduated High School.
~~Kissed someone.~~
Smoked cigarettes.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time with out sleep.
Lied to someone.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class.
Smoked weed.
Dealt drugs.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid).
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.
Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
~~Flown on a plane.~~
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Cut yourself.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.
Dangerously close to being in jail.
Had detention.
Skipped school.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun.
Gambled in a casino.
Had a yard sale.
And a lemonade stand.
Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
~~Been in a school play.~~
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
~~Gone to sea world.~~
Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Wondered about your sexuality.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed.
Had a drug or alcohol problem.
Been in a fist fight.
Suffered any form of abuse.
Had a hamster.
Pet a wild animal.
~~Used a credit card.~~
Gone surfing in California.
Did “spirit day” at school.
Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s.
Been on the Honor Roll.
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.
Taken pictures with a webcam.
Started a fire.
Gotten caught having a party while parents were gone away

Unhappy Bunny

2010-05-27T16:13:00.000+01:00

Ok I'm not very happy just now....been screwed around by the Dept. of Work & Pensions so my rent hasn't been paid yet (I'm still trying to figure out what is so difficult about changing someones address on a database!) & I now have a second flu when I still hadn't fully recovered from the first one a caught a few weeks ago!
But what's worse is the curse that seems to of been cast over the rock world....in just a few months we've lost Pete Steel, The Rev, Dio, Malcolm McLaren (ok not strictly a musician but without him there would of been no punk, New Romantics etc) & now Paul Gray. WTF?????
Reading about their passing on online newspapers is so freakin' depressing. Their passing is bad enough but some of the downright cold & insensitive comments left by some "people" (I use the word people loosely as I believe you have to have a heart to be a person!)have been downright nasty!
Just because someone wheres a mask, grows their hair long, had tattoos & is in a "un-mainstream" band doesn't stop them from being human beings. They have families, friends....all now heartbroken. THAT should be the heart of the matter not that because they're in the music industry & "it's how he would of wanted to go", "what do you expect living that lifestyle" or arguing if their music should be classed as metal or not!
Have a watch of this video...

now does that sound like a bunch of hedonistic, drug/drink fueled outcasts that don't care about friendship & family? Of course not.
Behind the masks, the spotlight, the make-up & the distortion they are human beings just like you & me, so please even if you're not a fan of their music show some respect, if not for them, then for their families.

At least we know the welcome party we'll get in Heaven is going to have some AWESOME tunes blazing out!
Rest in peace guys \m/

James Owen Sullivan " The Rev" (February 10, 1981 – December 28, 2009)

(Avenage Sevenfold)

Rowland Stuart Howard (24 October 1959 – 30 December 2009)

(The Birthday Party)

Malcolm Robert Andrew McLaren (22 January 1946 – 8 April 2010

(The Sex Pistols, Bow Wow Wow, Adam & The Ants etc)

Petrus T. Ratajczyk "Pete Steel" (January 4, 1962 – April 14, 2010)

(Type O Negative)

Ronnie James Dio (July 10, 1942 – May 16, 2010

(Dio, Black Sabbath, Rainbow, ELF)

Paul Dedrick Gray (April 8, 1972 – May 24, 2010)

(Slipknot)

"The Reality of Depression"

2010-05-21T12:49:00.000+01:00

At last a newspaper article that doesn't insult or belittle mental health issues...good on you Campbell!

The reality of DEPRESSION
By Alastair Campbell 21/05/2010

EXCLUSIVE: Janet Street- Porter caused controversy last week when she compared depression to a fashion accessory, telling people to 'get a grip'. Here, Alastair Campbell hits back...

Attention-seeking takes many forms, and a particularly virulent outbreak appeared under the name of Janet Street-Porter last week.

In a newspaper article she wrote about depression as some kind of trendy new illness, which many women now view as a musthave accessory, like the latest handbag.

I assume, from the unsympathetic tone, she has never experienced depression. If she had, then even for the generous cheque she no doubt received, she would have thought twice before setting out an opinion as misguided as it is offensive to anyone who knows the reality of depression.

Much that appears in the media really doesn't matter. But people who suffer from mental health problems will often say the stigma attached to them is worse than the symptoms. Articles like hers reinforce that stigma and taboo, which in turn create shame and a sense that real problems cannot be addressed.

First, let me try to give her some insight into depression. I had a pretty heavy nervous breakdown in 1986, and I've had depression on-and-off ever since. With the help of friends and family, sympathetic bosses, a good GP, a psychiatrist, sometimes medication, I have learned to manage it better than I did once.

At its worst, it is like an invisible dark force that first approaches, then envelops, then appears to fill every waking thought. You can escape via sleep, but you wake and find your eyes won't open, you lack the energy to brush teeth, shave, speak, think anything other than thoughts of emptiness and despair.

When it's bad, my partner Fiona says it is like living with somebody from a different planet. When you get into that mode it's very dangerous and corrosive. People ask, "what's wrong?" and you don't really know. "What triggered it?" and you can't answer that either. One thing you do know, there is no way you would wish to have it.

Once you've had it, there are few worse experiences than knowing that dark cloud is coming back. The cause of Janet Street Porter's ire - whether real or synthetic - is the fact that women like TV presenter and Mirror columnist Fiona Phillips, actress Emma Thompson and writer Marian Keyes have spoken out about their experiences. Like them, I've chosen to "bare my soul", as Porter puts it, in print and on film because I feel that openness about psychosis and depression may help counteract the discrimination and stigma surrounding mental health.

When I had my breakdown, I took comfort from reading and hearing about others who had been through it and got out the other side. So when Mind, and later the Time to Change campaign asked me to speak out, I was pleased to.

Mental health problems can happen to anyone just as cancer can or a broken limb when you fall down the stairs. They don't respect status, wealth or profession. And, hopefully, we can make it easier for others to feel they don't have to hide that they've had mental health problems.

Men in particular find it tough to come forward. Big boys don't cry, and all that. It goes some way to explaining why men are just as likely to experience depression as women, but half as likely to seek support. So when Janet Street-Porter says: "The idea of feeling sorry for a bloke with low self-esteem is, frankly, risible," I wonder if the fact that out of every four suicides, three are men might cause her to reconsider. Probably not. But reasonable people might.

Frank Bruno, Marcus Trescothick and Ronnie O'Sullivan are all sportsmen who have reached the top of their chosen professions. They've also touched the depths of mental illness. And in being open about it, they are helping to change the way people think about men and mental health and undo the damage done by the likes of Janet Street-Porter. Far from jumping on a bandwagon or joining a trendy fad, people being open is essential to end a powerful and outdated taboo.

I know from my own recovery that it is possible to take strength and hope from the experience of others who've gone to what feels like hell and back and lived to tell the tale. My novel, All In The Mind, is based on my experiences of depression and psychosis. I also made a BBC documentary called Cracking Up. And I've been really grateful for the response to both. Barely a day has passed when someone hasn't said they related to something that happened to me or one of the characters in the book.

Depression is neither new nor trendy. It just is. Street-Porter's article is inconsistent, contradictory and very badly argued. It is the kind of journalism that merely serves to strengthen the damaging stereotypes around mental health problems that stop people with very real illnesses seeking help. Like the Daily Mirror, I've been supporting the Time to Change campaign, which is working hard to put this right.

But ill-informed articles like Street-Porter's risk leaving people confused and misinformed. Depression and stress are not the same, although it is true that sometimes one can lead to the other.

The truth is, anything more than mild to moderate depression can be seriously debilitating. Time to Change says that one in four of us will directly experience a mental health problem. What it means is that we all know someone who is affected but, as a society, we still tend to keep these things quiet.

If we could be more open, it would of course benefit people with mental health problems, but it would also benefit society and the economy.

Many talented people are kept out of the labour market because of employers' reluctance to hire someone who discloses they've had a mental health problem: only four out of 10 employers say they would employ someone with a mental health history.

That means six out of 10 wouldn't. Some of the most important figures in history had mental health issues - Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin. What would the world be like if they had been denied opportunities because they'd had mental health problems?

When Street-Porter argued there is "virtually no stigma at all" attached to mental health problems, she clearly hadn't done even the most basic research. Nearly nine out of 10 people with mental health problems have been affected by stigma and discrimination.

Media coverage on mental illness is incredibly powerful. At its best it can help challenge stigma and at its worst it can help reinforce it. In a way, that has a direct impact upon the way people with mental health problems feel and are perceived.

The decision that people such as Marian Keyes and newspaper columnist Allison Pearson take when they speak out about it is a difficult one. I had no choice, because when I jumped from journalism to politics, the press started writing about my past troubles anyway. I have never regretted being open. I hope that by speaking out about our experiences, anyone with a mental health problem can play a role in educating and showing others in distress that they are not alone, help is out there and recovery possible.

Mental health problems can happen to any one of us and it's important people can speak out and seek help without fear of being criticised and ridiculed. The volume of complaints about Street-Porter's article suggests the public realises it is indeed Time to Change.

ALASTAIR'S FEE FOR THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN DONATED TO MENTAL HEALTH CHARITIES MIND AND RETHINK. HE IS ASKING JANET STREET-PORTER TO DONATE THE FEE FOR HER ARTICLE TO THE SAME CAUSE. WWW.TIME-TO-CHANGE.ORG.UK.

THE FIGURES

Mental health problems affect one in four.

Nearly nine out of 10 people with mental health problems have been affected by stigma and discrimination.

92% of the British public believe admitting to a mental illness would damage their career

Stigma stops people with mental health problems from doing everyday things - even reporting a crime.

MELINDA MESSENGER

"I thought to myself: 'If I crash the car, I will be free from all this.' It really does get as bad as that."

TRISHA GODDARD

"I was in danger of having my children taken away from me when I needed five weeks in psychiatric care."

EMMA THOMSPON

"I've certainly been there, in various depressions, when you never wash and wear the same things... you want to switch it off and stop."

JIM CARREY

"I tried dealing with depression by taking Prozac. It was good for a little bit for my life. But it didn't heal me."

HELENA BONHAM CARTER

"I've been depressed and don't like it. You find a way through it, but it is hard, still, to talk about it."

LENNY HENRY

"That's where depression hits you most - your home life."

JANET STREET-PORTER

"Along with the Sam Cam handbag, the latest must-have accessory is a big dose of depression."

Please Hear What I Am Not Saying

2010-05-15T16:55:00.000+01:00

"Please Hear What I Am Not Saying"

- Charles C. Finn (September 1966)

Don't be fooled by me.

Don't be fooled by the face I wear

for I wear a mask, a thousand masks,

masks that I'm afraid to take off,

and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,

but don't be fooled,

for God's sake don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure,

that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well

as without,

that confidence is my name and coolness my game,

that the water's calm and I'm in command

and that I need no one,

but don't believe me.

My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,

ever-varying and ever-concealing.

Beneath lies no complacence.

Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.

But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.

That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,

a nonchalant sophisticated facade,

to help me pretend,

to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope,

and I know it.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance,

if it's followed by love.

It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,

from my own self-built prison walls,

from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.

It's the only thing that will assure me

of what I can't assure myself,

that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.

I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,

will not be followed by love.

I'm afraid you'll think less of me,

that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.

I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing

and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,

with a facade of assurance without

and a trembling child within.

So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,

and my life becomes a front.

I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.

I tell you everything that's really nothing,

and nothing of what's everything,

of what's crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine

do not be fooled by what I'm saying.

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,

what I'd like to be able to say,

what for survival I need to say,

but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.

I don't like playing superficial phony games.

I want to stop playing them.

I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me

but you've got to help me.

You've got to hold out your hand

even when that's the last thing I seem to want.

Only you can wipe away from my eyes

the blank stare of the breathing dead.

Only you can call me into aliveness.

Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,

each time you try to understand because you really care,

my heart begins to grow wings--

very small wings,

very feeble wings,

but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling

you can breathe life into me.

I want you to know that.

I want you to know how important you are to me,

how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator--

of the person that is me

if you choose to.

You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,

you alone can remove my mask,

you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,

from my lonely prison,

if you choose to.

Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.

It will not be easy for you.

A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.

The nearer you approach to me

the blinder I may strike back.

It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man

often I am irrational.

I fight against the very thing I cry out for.

But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls

and in this lies my hope.

Please try to beat down those walls

with firm hands but with gentle hands

for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?

I am someone you know very well.

For I am every man you meet

and I am every woman you meet.

Comfort Bag Against Panic Attacks

2010-05-14T16:42:00.000+01:00

Yet something else I found at JTF (Journey Towards Freedom). It's such a wealth of info & ideas!
I carry a large enough bag, so I can fit a smaller one with a few things in it, into it.I don't suffer from panic attacks anymore (thank god!) but I could do with something to distract my mind when I'm feeling low &/or stressed.....

How do you prepare yourself for panic attacks while away from home? Reach into your comfort bag for security, distraction or relaxation. Prepare yourself for anxiety and panic attacks by taking along comfort in a bag.
Difficulty: Easy
Time Required:Varies
Here's How:

Choose a bag.
Decide what kind of bag is appropriate for your needs. If you drive a lot, you can take more in the car. If you carry a purse, maybe a large one is in order. A backpack is an option for anyone.
Brainstorm.
Now it's time to brainstorm. Sit down with pen and paper, and write down anything that comes to mind that has helped relieve your anxiety in the past. Add to it anything that you'd like to try.
Pick the portable items from your list.
After your list is complete, decide what is portable and put together your comfort bag.

Below are a number of suggestions to help you complete your list.
Relaxation
- Index cards with relaxation and breathing exercises
- Lavender oil
- Hand cream (for hand massage)
- Music and portable player
- Relaxation tapes
- Herbal tea
Comfort
- Photos
- Cards/letters from loved ones
- Teddy bear
- Religious or spiritual items
- Index cards with poems, quotes and calming reminders
Stimulation
- Rubber bands (can put on your wrist)
- Mints or tart candy
- Cold water
- Mentholated cream (to smell)
- Upbeat music
Distraction
- Puzzle books
- Magazines
- Portable computer games
- Journal
- Small children's toys
- Coloring books
- Books on tape
- Pens, pencils, colored pencils, crayons
Emergencies
- Cell phone
- Extra clothes (including something warm)
- Blanket
- Extra medication
- Small phonebook with all important numbers
- Change for phone
- Money
- Toilet paper and Kleenex
- Maps

Tips:

Have a list people you can call if you're stuck somewhere. They would be people who could come get you or talk to you until you feel calm again (make sure they've agreed ahead of time).
Forgetfulness is a common symptom during anxiety and panic. When you put together lists, like phone numbers, be sure to include even the most obvious (such as your mom) because you may forget the most obvious when you're anxious.
Remember that anxiety can make easy tasks more difficult, so be sure to bring distractions for an anxious mind (i.e., maybe a children's puzzle book rather than an adult's).
Don't be embarrassed about bringing what soothes you. If bringing that childhood teddy bear will help you take a few more recovery steps, then it's worth it!