Hoping you all had a good Yule & Christmas. I was away from home & for the life of me couldn't remember my Blog password, so had to wait until I got home before I could post. I did however manage to read my emails....
Thank you to the person that made a donation. You totally made my Yule! The smile you put on my face stayed put for the entire day! :D Thank you.
I also got the MOST lovely comment a few days ago from Alex. Thank you SO much for that comment. I'll be honest I got a little teary reading it.
I could relate to a lot of what you wrote.
My Mum suffered with Depression herself, most of her life also, so I totally understand the stress of walking on eggshells so not to upset her. It's such a responsibility that others don't understand. I think if it was a physical problem, people would be more understanding. When I first got ill I was convinced it was to help me understand what my Mum was going through so I could help her better. A few years later she was the one doing the looking after. She once drove all the way from Inverkip to Nottingham (over 300miles) overnight arriving at 4am because I was feeling so dark. She's more than made up for the years I kept an eye on her!
The beads I found really useful, particularly when my anxiety got high & I could feel a panic attack coming on (I've lost the set I made & haven't gotten round to buying the beads to make another), so I definitively recommend them!
As for your faith, give it time. My Mum was a bit "oh it's just another phase" for the first few years, but a couple of years ago she came along to watch me in the Pagan Pride Parade in Nottingham. You can't get much more supportive than that! I'm sure yours will be the same. Once she sees that it's part of who you are & not going to be thrown away after a year or two like the ballet slippers or boy band posters she'll accept it, because it 's part of what makes you, you.
Happy life.....that's the bit that got me. You know I've been too wrapped up in trying to find a job that I've not actually realized that I am happy. Yeah, my life is far from perfect,(no job, pathetic to no social life, family problems, the occasional Depressive episode, etc) but you're right, it IS a happy life. No matter how much I bitch about it, it is a good one.
You know that is the first time I've actually said that & meant it. I need to stop focusing on the what I need to change & improve on & focus on the awesome things in my life & the accomplishments from time to time.
You've stopped me & made me smell the roses.
If I could give you a hug consider yourself hugged!
I think I'm going to do a regular "What I'm Thankful For". I need to start remembering the positives more often.